Why do people say 'sumimasen' so often, even when nothing seems to be their fault?
People apologize constantly—'sumimasen' to get attention, to thank someone, to squeeze past on a train, or to smooth over a shared inconvenience—often without any admission that they did something wrong.
Many apologies are relationship maintenance, not confessions of guilt. Saying 'sorry' acknowledges the other person's inconvenience and re-balances the social bond; it's closer to lubrication than to accepting legal fault.
Why — five layers
Acknowledging that you may have caused meiwaku matters more than assigning blame; a quick apology shows you're aware of the other person's position, which is itself courteous.
Apology and thanks blur: 'sumimasen' can mean 'thank you for going to trouble for me,' folding in a sense of on (indebtedness) that the relationship is expected to keep balancing over time.
Public-facing organizations apologize formally (press conferences, station announcements for tiny delays) as expected conduct, modeling apology as a routine restorative act rather than a rare confession.
International view
In litigious cultures like the US, an apology can be read as admitting liability, so people are coached not to say sorry after accidents; in Japan an early apology is often the expected first step and can defuse rather than escalate a dispute.
But not always
This doesn't mean Japanese people apologize for serious wrongs more sincerely, or that all apologies are heartfelt—corporate apologies can be hollow ritual. And over-apologizing among close friends can sound stiff or distancing.
What to do
Use 'sumimasen' freely as a light 'excuse me/thanks'—it rarely commits you to fault. But for a real mistake, a plainer 'moushiwake arimasen' or 'gomen nasai' with a slight bow lands as more sincere than a reflexive 'sumimasen.'
Sources
- apology-behavior research (sumimasen as thanks/apology)
- on/giri ethnography
- general testimony